New Month; ‘March’ On!
It’s a new month; welcome! Here are some of the things you may have missed from last month. First, can we have a round of applause for February for being such a perfect month? 👏If February were a person, they would be one of those people who are never caught unfresh; prime, proper and smell […]
The Journey to Number 1
If you think that Game of Thrones was mere fiction, please think again. You know how sometime last month, Elon Musk, who held the title of World’s Richest Man for a week or thereabouts, was dethroned by Jeff Bezos. It felt like something that happened in the comic series, Flash when right before our very […]
The Featherington Effect!
Akuko!’, I muttered to myself, as he went on about some global incident. That is what the Igbos say when a discussion is beginning to enter voicemail. If you know me, you can sense when I’m not interested in something and it gets worse because when I begin to lose my patience, I make it […]
Frequently Asked Questions on The Foreign Exchange Bid Process
Q. What CBN FX intervention windows are available to importers? A. The CBN Retail Secondary Market Intervention Sales (this takes place fortnightly) and the CBN Special Sales to Local Corporates (At CBN’s discretion) Q. What are the currencies supplied by the CBN in the Retail Secondary Market intervention Sales? A. At the moment there are […]
The Fastest So Far In The History Of ‘Januarys’
I was going to ask, ‘is the plural of January going to carry the conventional ending of ‘ies’ or should we just leave it with an ‘s’ instead? You know you can help me in the comment section; no one is the custodian of all knowledge. Anyways, people have been saying this January is the […]
COVID Tested Positive For Ice-Cream!
I’m not happy, at all. Something just happened this morning and me, I must talk. I don’t know who sent me message but that was how I left my house to the supermarket yesterday evening. I left the closest one to my house and went all the way to the one very far from the […]
Frequently Asked Questions on Foreign Currency Domiciliary Transfers
While we’re on the subject of foreign currency withdrawals in line with the CBN mandate, it won’t hurt to answer a few questions that might be burning in your hearts as per this issue. Here goes: Q1: Can a customer transfer funds from his domiciliary account with Sterling Bank to his domiciliary account with another […]
Any Side You Dey, We Gat You!
How Oliver De Coque came back from the dead is beyond me. I remember my Daddy always singing and dancing to ‘Funny funny identity’ as a young child, only to wake up a few mornings ago to hear the Marvin Boss launch the ‘Stingy Men Association of Nigeria’ (SMAN), singing the infamous De Coque anthem. […]
Fighting COVID In A Recession
Definitely not a walk in the park. Just a few months ago, we slid into a recession after an 8-month lockdown, characterized by job losses and skeletal business activities. Last week, we talked about how the year ‘Chwenchi Chwenchi‘ went and how all of a sudden, ‘money no dey Lagos‘ and just yesterday, we were […]
Money No Dey Lagos!
First, the Lagos Anthem (In English 😅) Every night, Bentley,Every night, Rolls RoyceOn the toll gate road, we are going to chop lifeMy friend is driving an Aston Martin, I’m driving a BugattiEvery Friday night, we are going to chop lifeYet, they will say… —————————–Omoniyi Temidayo Raphael, World President. Eko WenjeleLet’s get it straight, there […]
‘Chwenchi Chwenchi’
Long and Short Year When the lion himself, Indaboski, called 2020 the year of lefasefare, nobody knew what he actually meant, but that has been the summary of 2020; confusing. It was a long and challenging year, a year of so many happenings yet so little happening. Everybody agrees that it was a long year but somehow […]
CBN Has Come Again!
Wahala for who go bank with old cheque book! Double wahala for who no come read the email wey we send dem on top this matter before dem comot go bank! That’s how you will just be waltzing into the banking hall to withdraw your millions before the crowd will greet you, ‘happy new year’. […]
NEW YEAR…NEW ME!
With the series of events that happened in 2020, you’d almost feel like you were in a movie, right? It is a fact that we are ending this year with way thicker skin than we started off with, now we can tell our grandkids our experiences during the great pandemic, how hugging your loved ones […]
Wait For It!
The end is priceless! Who remembers the PS5 trend on social? I saw some really funny prank videos. Gosh! The things some guys would do to have it and how the girlfriends laughed so hard at the frustration of the expectant gamers. It quickly reminded me about an incident that took place during the lockdown. […]
As E Take Happen!
2020 rough make we no lie but we run am! We nor know as December go be but e gat to balance! Make we sit tight as we take kurukere movement dey enter 2021. Una wehdone!
Before You Soro Soke!
It was sunset. The time when reptiles leave their homes in search of prey as farmers return home to rest. They just came home a few minutes ago and so, to behold Mama Obinayo standing over her son, arms raised bearing a cutlass dripping blood as he wailed till he eventually passed out, is indeed […]
Detty December? Cancelled!
It looks like it’s gonna be a clean December! ‘Any which way’, we’re glad that the year finally ends in a few days. What a relief! I know, right? But is it just us or this year literally felt like a decade? It actually feels good to know that businesses got to open and at […]
Chill With the ‘Geng’ in 2021
I hate to be the one to say this but we’re currently in a recession. (Sigh) The fact that we haven’t even recovered from COVID-19, the lootings and the recent hike in fuel price just leaves me wondering what could happen next. But we move! However, what this means for businesses is that with heightened […]
Wetin Moremi no go see for Professor N’Dyare hand?
Anyways, now that I have your attention, let’s talk about something equally important. I visited a friend that used to have steady ‘light’ but my expectations were cut short. Before she told me what happened, I noticed that there were so many naked wires overlapping their gate. Tapping current from all the poles on the […]
I Still Haven’t Answered The Genie!
‘Before I became this person, I’m sure the Sterling genie had asked me countless times why I chose to camp with banks that didn’t seem to care about me but my money’. She had been ill for the longest time and all my savings and investments were geared towards sending her abroad for surgery because […]
